Manna

For the past few weeks I have been very specific in my prayers to the Lord. They would go something like this, "God, I am good at my job and I like it, but it doesn't thrill me. It is not my passion. Please lead me." Period. No pouting or sulking. Simply here is my thought, You are my God, guide me. And let it go. The difference lately is not that my words are so few, it is that I am really wrapping my mind around the fact that God is IN CONTROL and therefore I just haven't stressed. There is a big difference between believing God is in control and acting like it. I want to learn this early so I don't waste years living outside of this truth. Anyway to the good part.

So I have been thinking about my writing a lot. Wednesday I told my parents while driving home from the beach that's what I really want to do for a living. It is what makes me come alive. I write for bridal mags and I recently picked up one that will be featured in places like Barnes and Noble and Borders. (so excited!) So last week I stopped looking at the careers posted on CondeNast (publisher of all major woman's mags) and I actually applied to about twenty. They are all in New York. I created a profile, attached my samples and prayed, "Lord do what you want to with this." Then I went back to selling homes. That was Thursday. Friday, I saw Sex and the City with a friend and came home in a strange mood because I was overwhelmed with the thought of writing full-time (like the main character in the film.) When someone asks me what "that thing" is that makes me "click" I say my writing. I dream of writing for Allure, Glamour, Marie Claire. I dream of slaving away at the computer for who knows how many hours writing about real world issues or something as silly as the latest shoe trend. I am the dork that reads every caption on every page of InStyle, Women's Health, etc.

Monday night my friend Simeon asked me to hang out with a couple of guys he knows from home. We all went to eat and I learned these guys were in ministry in some capacity. It was the first time I had met them. As I was enjoying my Jamaican jerk chicken nachos, something happened that has not happened in years. God used a man at the table to speak to me so clearly I almost couldn't even believe it was happening. He asked me casually, "Brandee do you like to write?" I said yeah casually. (mind you these people know NOTHING about me. Simeon never spoke a word about me. He knew my name was Brandee and we had known each other for about 15 minutes.) Anyway, he said, "Brandee when you walked in I felt like I had all of this stuff to tell you. I hope you don't mind." I said sure. He asked if I would ever consider writing for women's magazines. I nodded. Everything around me fell away and I was fixed on his words. I felt extremely calm and discerned just to listen, that what was being said was not from this guy who sat before me sipping a beer and munching on fries. He then asked if I would ever consider moving to New York. I responded yes. He said, "Have you ever heard of the movie How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days? Or that girl from the Family Stone Sarah what's her name? Sarah Jessica Parker I said. Well, when you walked in the door I thought of you in those positions. Your job now is what you do because it supports you, but writing is what you do because you love it. And I want to let you know that because you don't write for money, God is going to take this gift and use it. I see you writing for women's magazines and writing compelling stories that will be a little different. And you will think that they are insignificant, but it will be a sort of ministry to women. Well Hello God. I was blown over by the power of God. He knew I needed hope, something to hold onto and He gave me this morsel, this manna. Two days later I was chatting with a coworker and she said, "Hey what is the thing that you would do if you didn't have to worry about money." Easy...write. She said "Do you know the publisher CondeNast?" I braced myself. "Well, my good friend from high school, works for them and writes for Vogue, here let me give you her contact info, you never know." So of course I raced home and emailed her.

All of this to say, wow what a week. I have been overwhelmed at my new job, I sold a house in a neighborhood I barely know and I heard a good, solid word from the Lord. huh. I have no idea what is next. And ironically I am not anxious. It could happen tomorrow or 10 years from now. But I know what I heard and I will hide it deep in my heart.

I guess I want to encourage you today. I haven't been walking around thinking about writing full-time. I have not been seeking it out hard core. I have however not forgotten my dream. When I get a new interview I will stay up till 1AM writing. I am always calling new magazines and sending in my samples. I never get tired of it. I have steadily and quietly worked on it. And just last week God surprised me and brought my desires in the forefront of my mind the same week He spoke to me about it. What is it that makes you feel this way? What would you do if money was not an issue? If it is not your current job, do not be discouraged. God will lead you there and the skills you are developing now, whether in skill or character are important. They are necessary. Real estate pays the bills and puts food on the table but writing makes me excited. Tell the Lord today what it is that you desire. And then get up and go to work. I trust somehow, sometime, He will answer you. Let my week be a testimony to His promise.