Tuesday, January 6, 2009


I had a lot of time to think at yoga this morning. As I was twisting and turning my body making sure to concentrate on my breathing, my mind wandered everywhere. There was one pose where we laid on our backs with our feet over our heads, so basically our shoulders were the only thing touching the ground. We hung out there for quite some time. And that's when it hit me. First, how ridiculous I must have looked and then, Commitment. I wondered what would happen to my body it I became committed to yoga every day. How would my body change? Staring at the wall I applied this thought of commitment to every area of my life. Church, friends, Charlotte, job.

I was asked to join a team at church to serve on Sunday mornings, set up, take down, etc. I said yes and now I have been stressed about it. I'll just do a couple of times, you know, not get too involved. But twisted in that crazy pose, I thought, what if I really committed to helping on the days they asked me? What am I afraid of?

I think about leaving Charlotte all of the time. I visited Athens this weekend and spent the day after I got back searching the web for jobs there. What if I committed to Charlotte and called it home? Let's say I get more involved in my community, volunteer, make it point to search out new places...would I get as easily restless and bored?

I picked up a few copies of some magazines I was published in this month and noticed they had been edited heavily. Feeling disappointed and a little confused I thought maybe I should start doing something else, looking for another type of job. But then I remembered all that God has done to get me where I am now, and decided to commit, for better or worse.

Commitment. Why are we so afraid? We hate wandering and change and yet when God puts us in a place, we always try to wiggle out of it. We always try to pick out what is hard or bad about it and reason why somewhere or someone else would be better. Is it because we don't want to be stuck? We want to be mobile with one foot out the door just in case we change our mind or things get hard? In terms of commitment, when do we stop casually dating our surroundings and actually become exclusive?

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