I am at an interesting point right now. In my community where I sell townhomes, there are only two homes left and no talk of the second phase. All of the other communities are at a standstill as well. In all reality there is no future for me at Portrait. Every week they let more people go. Last week it was 20. My numbers are great, but they just don't have the inventory for us. You might think that I am in a state of panic, or living in fear that I could at any moment lose my job, that I am worrying like crazy. Well instead of doing all of that I drove home to the lake.
While at home I saw Smart People with my mom while sharing an extra large popcorn and king size junior mints (my favorite). I ate at my favorite cafes and drank lots of sweet tea. I went on long walks with my mom every day. I woke up every morning to the smell of freshly brewed coffee (thanks dad) and sat looking out over the water while eating breakfast and reading magazines. When I was tired, I took a nap. I enjoyed a beer with my dad. At the end of the night I filled the huge slipper tub with bubbles to the top and read a book by candlelight.
Lately I have sounded like a broken record to my friends. "It is ok that he was not the one. It is alright that you have not found your true passion in a job. No you don't have to have children after a certain number of years of marriage." So while I was at the lake I decided I would listen to my own advice and just relax.
No doubt I am tempted to fall apart. Honestly I am the type of person that likes to really be loyal to something, to really give it a good try. And I am disappointed that this did not work out as I hoped. I am working really hard and wanted to see the fruits. I have customers but no homes to sell to them! But I have to move on. Hey I have to eat! At first I felt like I failed at something. But then I realized how dramatic I was being and how hard on myself (as usual). This is life. This is how it goes. I can either go along ruffled by job changes, life changes, relationship changes, or simply put... I can trust God.
This is something we have to really, truly wrap our minds and hearts around. We have to digest it. We have to marinate in it and let it soak so deep that our thoughts, actions and emotions would fall in line. We have to stop looking at the "seen" and consider the "unseen". As I lay in bed the other night I let this sink in. Our only purpose on this earth is to love God and glorify Him. As we become more like Him we are to radiate His love so that others would turn to Him as well. We are called to be different and love deeply and passionately. That is it. I don't have to be successful, have a certain amount in the bank or be in a certain place in life right now. So, when markets fall, jobs change, we have to move or we don't get the answer we were looking for, let's not be moved. Let's not fall apart. Let's not pout or get angry. Remember the real reason we are here and it will all be put in perspective. So don't worry...go soak in the tub.
Part 10: Wake Up!
1 year ago